


Survival of the Fittest

by storyplease



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Humor, Marauders' Era, exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 11:59:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15751236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storyplease/pseuds/storyplease
Summary: When Lily proposes something...unusual...Severus isn't sure if he's willing to take her up on her offer. When he finally does, however, he will find himself at the receiving end of a rather memorable experience...





	Survival of the Fittest

**Author's Note:**

> This is slightly AU due to fuzzy years, and a bit crackficcy, but I had fun with it.

"C'mon, Sev! You promised!"

Severus glowered at Lily from where he sat on the park swing. He dragged his feet in the dirt, kicking up a cloud of dust. The hot, rusty chains bit at his fingers, but he ignored the pain. "I never promised, Lily. I said I'd think about it."

" _Seeeeeeev_! I can't go on my own!" Lily stared plaintively at him and Severus knew he was going to cave to her request despite his own misgivings.

"I don't have any money, you know," he grumbled, letting his long, lank hair fall over his eyes. At Hogwarts, he thought it made him look like a mysterious wizard but back in the Muggle world, he just looked like he was in bad need of a haircut.

"I already  _told_  you, my dad has a membership and I can bring a guest!" Lily was really milking the sad puppy look and Severus could stand it no longer.

"Fine!" He jumped from the swing and threw his hands in the air. "I'll go, but you can't make me like it."

"Oh, thanks, Sev! You're the best!" Lily threw her arms around him and squealed with excitement.

Severus tolerated the sudden contact, but the truth was that human touch had always been hard for him, especially since it was rarely kind. But for Lily, his oldest friend, he would endure anything. It didn't help that, along with an extra couple inches of height and a voice that had lowered seemingly overnight, Severus had begun to feel a strange thrill in his belly whenever Lily touched him. It was not altogether unpleasant.

"Let's just get this over with so I can get back to my summer homework." This was a lie. Severus had completed all of his summer homework in the first week of break, but it was better than admitting that he was feeling uneasy about what Lily wanted to do with him.

It was, after all, going to be his first time.

* * *

"See? I told you it was nice!" Lily beamed as they walked through the tidily painted gate that read "Royal Health and Wellness Club" in big, looping, white letters. Underneath, in blocky red letters, it read: "MEMBERS ONLY, PLEASE."

Two blond men jogged by in white shorts and matching sweatbands, tennis rackets under their arms, and Severus sneered.

"You wouldn't catch me dead looking like those wankers," he muttered under his breath.

Lily, who was wearing gray terry cloth shorts and a shell-pink button-collar tennis shirt, frowned at him. "With that attitude, you're never going to be able to properly kick Potter's arse."

Severus blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

" _Boys_." Lily rolled her eyes. "What I've been trying to tell you for the past few weeks is that you need an edge on Potter and Black."

Severus bristled. "Is that so?"

Lily sighed deeply. "Sev, other than me and maybe Remus Lupin, you're one of the most talented students at school."

Severus relaxed just a bit. "And?"

"The problem is that those two goons have magic and they're all beefy from Quidditch. Even Merlin himself wouldn't be able to fight fairly against those odds."

Severus frowned a little, but slowly nodded in agreement.

"I know a little bit about what that's like, you know," Lily continued. "Dad and Mum won't say it, but they signed both Tunie and me up for judo in addition to our usual tennis lessons after...um... _that_ happened."

Severus softened a bit at that. He had remembered the story Lily had told him, quivering in an uncharacteristically terrified manner, about the men in the car that had tried to grab her when she was walking home from the shops. If it hadn't been for a burst of accidental magic making her arm temporarily intangible so she could slip away and run, there's no telling what could have happened.

"I can't expect magic to save me all the time, but I can develop additional skills to keep me safe. And what sort of best friend would I be if I didn't give you the same opportunity?" Lily finished, her eyes blazing.

Severus had to admit that she had a point. He'd be a poor Slytherin if he passed on the opportunity to develop an edge on those two fat-headed bullies just because he was being a prideful arse.

"You're right," he said, "I'm sorry I was being a git."

"Well, if you can admit that, you're still miles ahead of those stupid Marauders." With that, Lily took his hand and they walked through the gates.

* * *

Severus was amazed to see a sparkling pool, several well-maintained tennis courts, a cricket pitch, and some sort of cantina where people sipped everything from tea to brandy to cool down after an afternoon of fitness endeavors.

"We're over here," Lily urged, nudging him over towards another building to their left. "This is where they teach the aerobics classes, martial arts, boxing, and weight training. There's also showers and a changing room in the basement."

Severus felt a thrill run through him. This place was seriously posh and even though he felt like an outsider, there was a sense of burning hope in his heart that he had a chance to belong if he only played his cards right.

Lily pressed a bag into his hands. "Here. I borrowed these from my dad. They'll be a bit large on you, but you can just pull the drawstring on the inside of the shorts to adjust them."

Severus made his way to the changing room with a prickle of excitement building in his belly. This wasn't all that different from being the only poor kid in Slytherin.

Well...at least, he hoped so.

* * *

"You're not wearing the sweatbands?" Lily seemed somewhat disappointed.

"No." Severus stood next to Lily without another word and decided to look around instead of at the disappointed pout that was sure to be on her face.

The room was large with big windows to let the summer sun filter in. Everyone else seemed to be wearing variations of the loose clothing that he and Lily were wearing as they stood in rows waiting for something...or someone. Severus was about to ask Lily when a door opened and a voice called out:

"Very sorry for being late to the class today! Don't worry, we'll get started immediately!"

Severus and Lily stared, their mouths hanging wide in astonishment. There, wearing two sweatbands on each wrist and around his head, was none other than Gilderoy Lockhart. Lockhart was a Ravenclaw who was at least four years younger than they were in school He was not only tall and muscular for his age, but he had already tanned himself to a golden brown colour that made him look weirdly shiny all over.

Some of the older ladies tittered as he jogged to the front of the room, signalled to a woman who sat near the side of the room with a record player to start some poppy music, and started jogging in place, his tank top giving everyone glimpses of his shapely pectoral muscles as he moved. Everyone soon joined suit and followed along. Severus glanced over at Lily, whose face had gone a bit flushed, and felt a prickle of distaste fill his mouth.

"This is absurd," he muttered out the side of his mouth. "What makes Lockhart remotely qualified to teach this class? He's younger than we are!"

But soon it became evident why Lockhart was qualified to teach the class. The woman who was sitting near the record player kept clapping and exclaiming, "Good work, Gilly!" and, as Severus glanced back and forth between the two of them, he realized that their hair was remarkably similar in colour and shape.

"Thanks, Mum!" Lockhart flashed a winning smile, waved, then tripped and fell forward onto the floor with a sickening thud.

Immediately, ten middle-aged women (whom Severus supposed must have been his mother's friends), sprang forward from the front row to fawn over him.

Severus rolled his eyes and then snickered when he realized Lily was doing the same.

Lockhart made a show of bravely working through the pain of his injuries, and they went to windmill stretches and sit-ups. Severus could feel his body aching with every new contortion he forced himself into, and he began to wonder if Lockhart was simply coming up with all of these poses off of the top of his head.

Finally, it was over.

"Good job, class!" Lockhart said, wiping sweat from his brow in a manner that suggested that he'd practiced the gesture in front of a mirror. "I hope to see you all next week!"

"I could teach a better aerobics class than him!" Lily fumed as they exited the room. "For one, he didn't lead the warm up with stretches and gentle exercises, nor did he get the middle of the routine to the proper intensity level! And I've never seen a cooldown routine that requires one to tie oneself into a knot!"

Severus merely snickered and nodded in agreement.

"Well, at least there was entertainment value in watching that pompous arse land on his face," Lily said, snickering a bit herself.

"Maybe if we go back next time, he'll treat us to a view of him falling on his pompous arse as well," Severus quipped.

"Oh, if only!" Lily exclaimed, letting out a bark of laughter. "I think next time, we should just stick with judo class and maybe some weight lifting for you, Sev. I think you could probably outpace Lockhart if you kept at it."

"In what?  _Falling over_?" Severus had to control himself to avoid dissolving into giggles.

"No, silly, in strength! Lockhart might be a bonehead, but you've got to admit he's got... _definition_." Lily slapped his arm playfully and Severus was struck by how scrawny his arms looked in her dad's oversized t-shirt.

"Yeah, well, I've heard from a reliable source that he's pants in charms at school," Severus said, feeling suddenly self-conscious. "I bet that he could be disarmed by a stiff breeze."

Lily seemed to realize that Severus was nursing a bruised ego and softened her expression. "Sev, just forget Lockhart and his stupid muscles. Look, I just think it'll be utterly hilarious to see you throw Potter and Black over your shoulder like they're nothing."

"Now,  _that_  I could get behind," Severus replied, a ghost of a smile lifting his lips.

"Just think, we could throw those clods into the Black Lake and leave them to the tender mercies of the Giant Squid," Lily said, giggling loudly.

"I, for one, am hoping for not-so-tender mercies," Severus deadpanned, and Lily laughed even louder.

That summer would bring with it new knowledge and a number of happy moments by Lily's side that Severus would remember for the rest of his life. And when he finally got a chance to knock Lockhart on his self-righteous arse years later, Severus didn't hesitate.

'This is for you, Lily,' he thought, shouting "Expelliarmus!" so loudly that Lockhart was blasted down by the combined force of disdain and will that Severus had directed at him.

Somewhere, in his distant memories, he thought he could hear her clear, happy laughter, and for a moment, the sun shone in his heart once again.


End file.
